SHIT THAT NEEDS TO DIE: THE FEMALE EDITION

It's the second decade of the new millineum and with each decade comes new shit.....new music, new movies, new slang, a new roster of artist to fawn & gossip over, and new fashion designers to usher in new trends for us to follow. If you followed carefully, you noticed I said "new"....and the term "new" does NOT automatically intel "good". Which means, with each new decade comes a new, trash ass trend that some race, gender, religion, or age will pick up and run with against their better judgement. I'm on a mission to save us from ourselves, so I comprised a list of shit that should die off and be forgotten immediately.....thank me later ladies because today is your day!!!!

LACEDRONTS: Ahhh yes, just when platinum wigs and tracks were beginning to grow on us (Sarcasm), y'all go and switch it up on us again....blessing us with the, "Oh shit, this bitch has a dead Sasquatch on her head" look!!!

GIRLS W/ BALD FADES: Okay, Amber Rose had a gorgeous facial structure and the ass of a.....well....let's just say, an amazing ass....and a stylist who cost more than my mortgage, so it's only right that the Stone Cold Steve Austin look worked in her favor. Since her discovery, a lot of "basic bitches" have tried shaving their heads and instead of looking like Amber Rose they come out looking like Jalen Rose. Just because it works for the rich bitch, doesn't mean it'll work for you baldy.

 

MAP COLOR EYE BROWS: Oooh, here's a good idea, I'm gonna cut off my eyebrows & draw them back on in black ink. Fuck your God given hair, what men really love is ink. Why stop there....come on ladies, I wanna see perfectly drawn up-dues pubic hair!!! (Note sarcasm)

STARS, STARS, & STARS: Star tattoos are to women what barbed wire tattoos are to men....gay and unnecessary. WTF is the significance? Did my mom and grandmother miss the bullshit memo?! It seems like every living thing on the planet w/ a vagina was abducted one night and branded with a series of tiny star tattoos. Were their abductors gay, unoriginal, or just fucking tasteless? Hmmmm.....something to think about!!!

FAKE EYELASHES: When I can see your eyelashes from 100 yards away, I think they may be just a "wee" bit excessive.....just a little. Unless you're looking to find something that screams "basic bitch", I suggest you avoid the girraffe eyelashes as an accessory.

HATS: Just when you thought your girls outfit was cute....she goes into the closet and puts on a....God no.....a hat. Yes hats!!! Hats are single handedly responsible for making a lot of gorgeous girls look like fucking morons! From Merlin wizard hats to the "jazzy" fedora....90% of hats make girls look stupid.